13...twenty~one

if i had known

the money in store and pain at hand

surely i would have taken better care of my teeth

​and made them more of a priority

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​13...twenty~one

a root canal

a tooth removed

swollen cheeks

numb right side

excruciating pain is the aftermath

sister to the rescue

a night nurse to add

pain pills that did not dull the pain

luke warm tea just wasn't quite so

5 days later those pills still at hand

exhausted

frustrated ​

not having fun right now

have a follow up on friday because i am still numb on my right side...i do hope this fades away and as for the pain...i tried today to go without the pain pills and oh my goodness was not one of my smartest moments

so very soon~

towards the end of february

my grandfather begins to ring 

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wanting to know if we've got our seeds

​and if they've been sowed

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​our seeds have been sowed 

good...good he replies

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and in the days that come thereafter

the phone rings with a new kind of sound

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have they sprouted

why yes...yes they have

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which leads to the daily check in's of

how are they doing

or how high today

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a simple little thing

a connection that continues on

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the sowing of seeds, the sprouting and growth that happens all in good time

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to the sweetest of grandfathers and peas to add


impossible bird...firefly~

my spirit is soaring from the sounds heard below

​kicking myself for making our anniversary plans a week later than usual...could have been able to hear them while celebrating our weekend away...luckily they are playing an abundance of local shows and as for me...well i plan on attending at least one!

​Berthold Auerbach once said:

​"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everday life."

13...eighteen & the weeks of thee~

re~surfacing ​in the midst of spring

when this year started i was exhaling deeply knowing there were no major plans coming

that our days would flow...come as they should...and commitments would not hold us back ​or tie us down

yet life has a sly way of slipping itself sneakily in

and filling the voids and all to soon the days are marked and much is to be done

...three weeks left behind of no writing...​

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13...eighteen

rising before mr. sun

early morning hour adventure

piping hot coffee in hand

a long quiet drive for two

a vacant beach awaits

the only steps to be seen are ours

footprints remaining for those to follow

silence in the waters

sounds of the gulls

he and i walking ​

beach combing

treasure hunting

a pleasureful day

with many thanks to one sister, who chose to stay behind with our littles and sleep a little longer,  my love and i were able to embark on a plentiful morning of hours together alone before joining our family for the rest of the day

​Someone once said:

"Our time together is never quite enough"​

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13...nineteen

panic stricken

hungry  hungry chickens

plants disappearing ​

patience

compassion

understanding

accepting that i need not share everything

realizing they would be alright with the separation i created

fence making

garden plotting once more

hours and hours of digging and digging

committing to more than i could chew

yet executing ​and holding up to my word

life with chickens lacks anything dull...we have allowed them to free range and wander about to their liking...at first this was not any thing that would cause us concern but adding six more babies to the mix...maybe the breeds...maybe just maybe there is no real explanation...this past year the girls appetites tremendously increased and their desires of plants and flowers grew in an abundance...they have eaten through my back yard...again and again i planted and they ate...till i finally threw my hands up and sat down in the grass...i watched them graze about...looking around and realizing it would not be unjust if i ran a fence along my garden...they would not be losing any real space...just the extra tasties the have developed a palate for...i realized that just as my littles have special things as do we that i have never forced them to share that it was then that it hit me that this is my special place...my one thing that i am no longer willing to share and that there was no ever loving reason as to why i should have to share...so it was then that i stood and called to my boys and the building began...and oh those poor girls grew frustrated and stirred up quite a tizzy...pacing back and forth back and forth...i kept looking at them and saying to myself...it is ok...and you know what by the very next morning it was as if that chicken wire line had always been.​

so me...i have my garden back and the girls

well they reign the rest of our yard.

THIS EQUALS

one happy mama

8 happy girls

and a rooster too

Leonard Nimoy once said:​

"The more we share, The more we have."​

what he forgot to add was...

unless. you. have. chickens

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13...twenty

​the coming and going of lilacs

discovering they are not only wondrous to smell but taste as well

being honored and celebrated

as well as being thankful to honor and celebrate

a hand crafted bit from thee

showered with flowers from three

patience tested

strength pulled from deep within

lack there of understanding

needing not explain anymore

choices are each our own

​childish manners

wiping my hands clean

sometimes finding the strength to not react is far tougher than anything else...strength to walk away without harsh words or actions...strength in silence...strength to remain peaceful when all you want to do is rage...strength found knowing you will adhere to that of yourself and not that of another

Anne Lamott once said:​

"If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better."

words that may have us all thinking twice about our own behavior

13...sixteen~

when the past lay dormant

and the memories are kept safely tucked away

when the door opens

and the past presents itself in unexpected ways

and all that was left hidden flows freely as if it always had been

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years and years

have passed on by

yet the time in between

that kept them apart

never seized the childhood friendship that was

life unfolds just as it should...people come and go day after day...some stay for a short period while others linger through out our lives...each holding a touchstone..a reason for their existence with an explanation we may never know...

13...sixteen

a full moon rose

a stray black cat

warmth filling our days

reminiscing of summer ways

a gate building project

a connection once lost

a friendship found

a sense of completeness

a life puzzle put together after missing a piece

​hours passing

wanting time to pause

so much to say

yet left satisfied with words that were spoken

Elise Broach once said:​

"A great friendship was like a great piece of art, he thought. It took time and attention, and a spark of something that was impossible to describe. It was a happy, lucky accident, finding some kindred part of yourself in a total stranger."

blossom...

some say

the seeds we sow need to be tended for

carefully watched over...nurtured & loved

so therefor we do...

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and yet sometimes

i think we forget about ourselves

not remembering that we too need that same careful affection that we give elsewhere

Goethe once said:​

"Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least."​

13...fifteen~

missed fortune found

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funny how you forget about things and then for some strange reason it becomes apparent where they were placed..your memory returns and you are able to recollect your once out of sorts thought and go to the exact place where they resided

13...fifteen

has most definitely felt out.of.sorts

mis~placed

mis~matched

mis~communicated

mis~understood

unpredictable

​dashing in and out

chasing and capturing raindrops 

hearing childrens laughter sparked from the pelting of hail

{they say dance in the rain...well our danced in the hail}

finding old forgotten projects

not remembering the reasons as to WHY

lavender and lupine lingering in my mind

​as for these pennies...shaking head...they have been sitting for at least a year or two...honestly could not tell ya what was going to happen to them...but what i can say is i do remember we were attempting create a patina...am thinking it involved vinegar but alas i am at a true loss for the process and purpose... 

​maybe today you will find missed fortune in a forgotten place

life moments...1~

because sometimes life with two boys and a husband needs to be documented...

Life Moment...1

when you have to go to the bathroom so badly you go in without turning the lights on sit down and find yourself falling into the toilet...no matter how many times i have done this...i know there will still be many more...some lessons i guess i will never learn...just when i think i am safe...alas the dam toilet strikes again..sigh

wondering

why it so hard for boys to remember to put the toilet seat down

BUT

then i stumbled upon a little comic that had a man lifting the seat and yelling to his wife

"why can't you remember to lift the seat when you are done"​

13...times 2~

13...thirteen

where the days are going is besides me

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​life has not been like this window

far from remaining still through winds and rain

​13

winds

rain

glimpses of sun

chilly wind bites

​plant eating chickens

flowers diminishing

sugar highs

​frustrating lows

tow truck calling

one vehicle bites the dust

​seeking 

searching

​coming up empty handed

Hillary Clinton once said:​

"I think that if you live long enough, you realize that so much of what happens in life is out of your control, but how you respond to it is in your control."​

13...fourteen

​life has continued to move

not quite sure if it has been forward or backwards

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steps that feel as if they are taking me to a place where i have traveled before

13

results that brings forth a sense of peace

appointments appointments appointments

head pounding

needing more

yet wanting less

stranded ​

​car~less for days and more days to come

taking in hand... life is what you make of it

what is important

 content with what is in front of me

accepting limits

liable for only so much

wondering where the calmness went

Greg Lake once said:​

"There is no standing still because time is moving forward"​


13...twelve~

we have been as busy as bees working and tending

so much so ​

that i had forgotten to come back and post this post

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​with spring present

we have had burst of energy ​

that has kept us all moving

13...twelve

dirty fingers

filthy toes

soil digging

seed planting

grass growing

warmth and light shining

first of the bumble bees

birds singing

trees budding

outdoor learning

teas blessed by the sun

​time relaxing

embracing spring just as it is

there is nothing quite like the days of spring and the time you spend outdoors with nature 

13...eleven~

​rays of light 

veil our home

refreshing i say

to see life lit up

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i will say it a thousand times over in my day

i adore each season as it comes

13...eleven

 an awakening

a shift

rebirth

the brink of mornings

nights lingering ​

a feeling of time lasting

energizing

eggs of paper

eggs of silk

seed sowing

garden plotting

lots of planning

spring lovin

​C. S. Lewis once said:

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg.

We are like eggs at present.

And you can not go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg.​ We must be hatched.

awakening~

​the wheel takes another turn

life

awakens

from the long winters still

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​the equinox presents itself

 in a thunderous roar

winds ripping

rains raging

yet admist the commotion of weather

it is happening

just as it should

life blinks

an opening 

a closing

 spring unfolds

adorning the trees with delicate buds and birds

​painting the scene with merriment once more

​George Bernard Shaw once said:

​"Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will."

tis a

new...fresh...beginning

 to emerge from the old

and begin again

just as nature

though our roots will never change

our growth always can