13...twenty six~

our days have been a continuous flow of


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too many thoughts

too many possibilities


all shall be left unknown

until its secret is ready to be revealed






quieting the minds of many

believing in my beliefs

one fathers procedure done

one sisters surgery coming forth

preparing for the coming week

attempting to balance the lives in my home 

summers heat sneaks in

 backyard camping

tangled fingers

bombs bursting

independence continually being sought 



Peter McWilliams once said:

"If you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thoughts." 


i do believe...we can not control life...life controls us...true we have the will and the choice to choose how we "want" or "think" we will go about our day to day...but life can strike at any given moment...changing your plan...changing your day...changing your life in an unexpected way...so there is no sense in battling the what ifs and whys...tis an answer you will never find. 


13...twenty three and many more~



Making a loud, confused noise; uproarious:


Excited, confused, or disorderly




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    one fathers birthday celebrated

    our anniversary came once more

    a holiday together away

    two troublesome phone calls

    one sisters life takes an unexpected turn

    one fathers life joins her possible path

    savoring time

    yet feeling lost within the minutes passing by


    pushing through

    letting go

    putting lifes troubles in the hands of the universe

    hanging onto hope



    Someone once said: 

     "So don't worry about tomorrow, For tomorrow will bring its own worries. Todays trouble is enough for today."



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    a multitude of doctors appointment

    another dental disaster

    biopsies for one

    more testing for thee other


    melt down

    flurry of falling outs

    comfort in the words of a sister so so far away

    time ticking

    exhaustion setting

    running away

    stumbling upon long lost hidden treasures

    riding the waves of life



    Someone once said:

    "I may not be the strongest, I may not be the fastest, but i'll be damned if i am not trying my hardest." 


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    appointments keep coming

    hearing haunting news

    confirmation of cancer for one

    yet more tests to be ran for another


    yet trying to swim back to the top



    clearing the way through the blur of my days

    sickness swirling

    rainy days keep coming

    mugginess that leads to an unpleasant stickiness

    down on my knees


    Victor Hugo once said:

    "Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, Whatever be the attitude of the body, The soul is on its knees." 


    pushing our limit

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    when we bought our home, we were told we'd be lucky if we got one more year with our roof and well we pushed our limits way to long, almost nine years of passing, putting it off, until now




    settling on a black and gray 

    cringing as we handed over the cash

    relief though in knowing its complete

    peace of mind  

    accomplishing the to~do's

    pondering colors for our exterior

    shelf building

    wood burning

    aching mouth

    nagging pain

    dentist visit once more

    being hopeful

    it has to come to an end


    let me tell ya, scheduling a dentist appointment to have work done on the same day as having your roof stripped down and re~done...yet again...not one of my smartest moves...


    there was no rest for the weary


    if i had known

    the money in store and pain at hand

    surely i would have taken better care of my teeth

    and made them more of a priority

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    a root canal

    a tooth removed

    swollen cheeks

    numb right side

    excruciating pain is the aftermath

    sister to the rescue

    a night nurse to add

    pain pills that did not dull the pain

    luke warm tea just wasn't quite so

    5 days later those pills still at hand



    not having fun right now

    have a follow up on friday because i am still numb on my right side...i do hope this fades away and as for the pain...i tried today to go without the pain pills and oh my goodness was not one of my smartest moments

    13...eighteen & the weeks of thee~

    re~surfacing in the midst of spring

    when this year started i was exhaling deeply knowing there were no major plans coming

    that our days would flow...come as they should...and commitments would not hold us back or tie us down

    yet life has a sly way of slipping itself sneakily in

    and filling the voids and all to soon the days are marked and much is to be done

    ...three weeks left behind of no writing...

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    rising before mr. sun

    early morning hour adventure

    piping hot coffee in hand

    a long quiet drive for two

    a vacant beach awaits

    the only steps to be seen are ours

    footprints remaining for those to follow

    silence in the waters

    sounds of the gulls

    he and i walking

    beach combing

    treasure hunting

    a pleasureful day

    with many thanks to one sister, who chose to stay behind with our littles and sleep a little longer,  my love and i were able to embark on a plentiful morning of hours together alone before joining our family for the rest of the day

    Someone once said:

    "Our time together is never quite enough"

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    panic stricken

    hungry  hungry chickens

    plants disappearing 




    accepting that i need not share everything

    realizing they would be alright with the separation i created

    fence making

    garden plotting once more

    hours and hours of digging and digging

    committing to more than i could chew

    yet executing and holding up to my word

    life with chickens lacks anything dull...we have allowed them to free range and wander about to their liking...at first this was not any thing that would cause us concern but adding six more babies to the mix...maybe the breeds...maybe just maybe there is no real explanation...this past year the girls appetites tremendously increased and their desires of plants and flowers grew in an abundance...they have eaten through my back yard...again and again i planted and they ate...till i finally threw my hands up and sat down in the grass...i watched them graze about...looking around and realizing it would not be unjust if i ran a fence along my garden...they would not be losing any real space...just the extra tasties the have developed a palate for...i realized that just as my littles have special things as do we that i have never forced them to share that it was then that it hit me that this is my special place...my one thing that i am no longer willing to share and that there was no ever loving reason as to why i should have to share...so it was then that i stood and called to my boys and the building began...and oh those poor girls grew frustrated and stirred up quite a tizzy...pacing back and forth back and forth...i kept looking at them and saying to myself...it is ok...and you know what by the very next morning it was as if that chicken wire line had always been.

    so me...i have my garden back and the girls

    well they reign the rest of our yard.


    one happy mama

    8 happy girls

    and a rooster too

    Leonard Nimoy once said:

    "The more we share, The more we have."

    what he forgot to add was...

    unless. you. have. chickens

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    the coming and going of lilacs

    discovering they are not only wondrous to smell but taste as well

    being honored and celebrated

    as well as being thankful to honor and celebrate

    a hand crafted bit from thee

    showered with flowers from three

    patience tested

    strength pulled from deep within

    lack there of understanding

    needing not explain anymore

    choices are each our own

    childish manners

    wiping my hands clean

    sometimes finding the strength to not react is far tougher than anything else...strength to walk away without harsh words or actions...strength in silence...strength to remain peaceful when all you want to do is rage...strength found knowing you will adhere to that of yourself and not that of another

    Anne Lamott once said:

    "If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better."

    words that may have us all thinking twice about our own behavior


    when the past lay dormant

    and the memories are kept safely tucked away

    when the door opens

    and the past presents itself in unexpected ways

    and all that was left hidden flows freely as if it always had been

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    years and years

    have passed on by

    yet the time in between

    that kept them apart

    never seized the childhood friendship that was

    life unfolds just as it should...people come and go day after day...some stay for a short period while others linger through out our lives...each holding a touchstone..a reason for their existence with an explanation we may never know...


    a full moon rose

    a stray black cat

    warmth filling our days

    reminiscing of summer ways

    a gate building project

    a connection once lost

    a friendship found

    a sense of completeness

    a life puzzle put together after missing a piece

    hours passing

    wanting time to pause

    so much to say

    yet left satisfied with words that were spoken

    Elise Broach once said:

    "A great friendship was like a great piece of art, he thought. It took time and attention, and a spark of something that was impossible to describe. It was a happy, lucky accident, finding some kindred part of yourself in a total stranger."


    missed fortune found

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    funny how you forget about things and then for some strange reason it becomes apparent where they were placed..your memory returns and you are able to recollect your once out of sorts thought and go to the exact place where they resided


    has most definitely felt out.of.sorts






    dashing in and out

    chasing and capturing raindrops 

    hearing childrens laughter sparked from the pelting of hail

    {they say dance in the rain...well our danced in the hail}

    finding old forgotten projects

    not remembering the reasons as to WHY

    lavender and lupine lingering in my mind

    as for these pennies...shaking head...they have been sitting for at least a year or two...honestly could not tell ya what was going to happen to them...but what i can say is i do remember we were attempting create a patina...am thinking it involved vinegar but alas i am at a true loss for the process and purpose... 

    maybe today you will find missed fortune in a forgotten place

    13...times 2~


    where the days are going is besides me

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    life has not been like this window

    far from remaining still through winds and rain




    glimpses of sun

    chilly wind bites

    plant eating chickens

    flowers diminishing

    sugar highs

    frustrating lows

    tow truck calling

    one vehicle bites the dust



    coming up empty handed

    Hillary Clinton once said:

    "I think that if you live long enough, you realize that so much of what happens in life is out of your control, but how you respond to it is in your control."


    life has continued to move

    not quite sure if it has been forward or backwards

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    steps that feel as if they are taking me to a place where i have traveled before


    results that brings forth a sense of peace

    appointments appointments appointments

    head pounding

    needing more

    yet wanting less


    car~less for days and more days to come

    taking in hand... life is what you make of it

    what is important

     content with what is in front of me

    accepting limits

    liable for only so much

    wondering where the calmness went

    Greg Lake once said:

    "There is no standing still because time is moving forward"


    we have been as busy as bees working and tending

    so much so

    that i had forgotten to come back and post this post

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    with spring present

    we have had burst of energy

    that has kept us all moving


    dirty fingers

    filthy toes

    soil digging

    seed planting

    grass growing

    warmth and light shining

    first of the bumble bees

    birds singing

    trees budding

    outdoor learning

    teas blessed by the sun

    time relaxing

    embracing spring just as it is

    there is nothing quite like the days of spring and the time you spend outdoors with nature 


    rays of light 

    veil our home

    refreshing i say

    to see life lit up

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    i will say it a thousand times over in my day

    i adore each season as it comes


     an awakening

    a shift


    the brink of mornings

    nights lingering

    a feeling of time lasting


    eggs of paper

    eggs of silk

    seed sowing

    garden plotting

    lots of planning

    spring lovin

    C. S. Lewis once said:

    "It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg.

    We are like eggs at present.

    And you can not go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched.


    last week i came home to purple tulips waiting

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    kindness from my sister

     a small gesture

    that made all the difference

    a certain type of love that was needed


    purple waits

    rethinking the thoughts of fresh cut flowers

    spring sprouting

    soiled fingers

    bits and pieces




    longer than long stretch

    horrendous battle with migraines

    old books

    windows open

    calming of storms

    Indira Gandhi once said:

    "You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose."


    sometimes i think i think to much

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    i am filled with many thoughts these past few days


    watching people in life and their struggles at hand

    wanting to help

    but...knowing they are the only ones that can help themselves

    believing...it is their path

    reminding myself...you can only enable for so long





    lightness and dark

    wild new moon energy flailing about

    emotions waxing and waning

    wondering...if i stand in my own sunlight


    march 1

    could it really be

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    the days of winter

    slowly coming to a close


    stranger than strange moments arising

    wishing my fingers could move a bit quicker

    crocheting away

    wabi sabi words and thoughts

    collectively gathering

    the joy in giving 

    excitement in the air

    despite the rain falling

    hopes of a forecasted 60 degrees

    this morning will be one trip to the airport

    welcoming home a grandpa so dear

    worries settling

    our minds at ease

    Euriphedes once said:

    "Our lives...are but a little while, so let them run as sweetly as you can, and give no thought to grief from day to day. For time is not concerned to keep our hopes, but hurries on its business, and its gone."


    there are just some things in life

    that are destined to happen

    a link that reminds me we are bound together

    the moment i think i am in the clear

    freed from such

    it presents its self once more

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    {see i live this nasty life tied together with my love and his ball point pens...14 some years and i can not tell you how many times i have had this happen...as if one time was not enough...oh no...the moment i think ah, its fine...is the moment it all begins...once more i decided i did not need to check his last pair of work pants as they were heading into the washing machine...and yes...this is where i went wrong...taking a chance...from the wash to the dryer...and from the dryer to oh no...not again...one lingering blue ball point pen was carefully residing in the last of his pants...another ink explosion at hand}

    to add to that one of my slippers sneakily snuck in...goodbye to two creamy speckled white slippers hello to one dingy blue


    accepting the reality of what really is

    realizing some connections are stronger than you may think

    leaving the door open for someone else to clean

    allowing myself to let go of control

    watching two littles find a common ground

    admiring their chosen type of play

    soaking up a moment of not having to parent

    being the one to admit fault

     forgiveness asked  

    forgiveness received

    feeling the stir of spring

     experiencing still the bite of winter

    indulging in salted caramels to wind down my day

    J. Johnson once said:

    "Second chances are rare, Use your first chance wisely."

    one day i might just remember those words


    reflections from a window

    pondering thoughts

    as if

    seeing a portal

    one in which

    could transport you

    swirl you up

    and take you to another world

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    fascinating don't you think

    if only

    it could really be


    finding beauty in an old weathered car

    a new found appreciation for life within an ancient junkyard

    thinking about the little things

    sipping piping hot raspberry leaf tea

    delving into wuthering heights

    mild bleak days

    no adventures at hand

    quietness remains

    though there are hints of spring

    light ever so slowly lingering into the night

    experiencing newness

    chocolate laced with champagne and lilac

    wondering what life would be like as a chocolatier

    James Joyce once said:

    "Mistakes are the portals of discovery."

    a nice new way to think


    at the end of each day

    i am left wondering

    where has the time gone

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    i remember all to often when i was little

    hearing the repetitive words from older ones

    how time goes by so quickly the older you get

    and i would sit there and think

    why would it be any different

    we are all living within the same time frame


    it seems with each passing day

    those ticks

    seem to be tocking

    at a much faster speed


    trying to accomplish as much as i can

    being wiser with my minutes at hand

    productivity flourishing

    creativity manifesting

    finishing and completing things that have sat far to long

    packages sent

    anxiously awaiting to see what comes forth in the mail

    an anticipated box of chocolates today

    a trip to the city

    glimpses of sun

     a much needed bounce to my step

    garden seeds sprouting

    hopes for spring

    Harvey MacKay once said:  

    "Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back."


    i realized long ago

    you can plan your life

    down to the finest detail

    but the reality of living is

    life has its own plans

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    regardless of our wants and needs

    it is going to take us where we are meant to be


    unexpected events arising

    yet all dealing as if there were no change

    life shifting

    moving with ease

    a welcomed stay

    humble little littles

    steam rising

    glimpses of sun shining

    winter purging

    layers and layers of clothes

    chilly fingers and toes

    early nights

     warm down comforters

    Joseph Campbell once said:

    "We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."


    driving along a road i have driven for almost nine years

    and never once seeing this old truck and tree

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    its a road i travel down

    most often when in a hurry

    my mind is usually consumed by getting or accomplishing the task at hand

    yet for some strange reason

    this time around

    it stood out ever so clear


    opening my eyes

    clearing my mind

    regardless of head pounding


    sneezing like mad

    going through tissue at an excessive rate

    completed a task at hand

    success on behalf of my photographic way

    {who ever you are...where ever you are...my deepest of deep gratitude}

    fingers entangled in wool and tweeds

    rice pudding piping hot 

    fresh lemon tea

    kindness and compassion

    thankful for the time to rest

    there is a saying:

    "Slow down...Rushing means you miss what's right here."


    i had spoke with one yesterday

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    exclaiming i would much rather enjoy a wee bit of sun or sparkling white snow


    rains that seem like torrential yet are merely a pour

    winds that howls

    pine cones dropping as if the sky was falling

    trees dancing about as they sway to and fro

    chimes by which echo all through the night

    fires crackling

    warmth arising

    a bounty of blankets

    a continual cup of tea

    writing of letters

    revisiting pictures from the past

    old forgotten memories

    happiness abounds through the dismal winter days

    Bob Dylan once said:

    "Some people feel the rain

    Others just get wet."

    quite frankly

    i have moved past feeling the rain

    and am down right just getting wet!


    there is no snow surrounding us...just a chill that lingers

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    cool crisp clean...a winters morn...dusty white...sparkling as dawn turns her hands to day


    darkness...yet knowing light will come

    warmth from a fire still faintly burning

    the smell of coffee

    the taste of licorice root tea

    warm cozy maryjanes

    the feel of wool wrapped around my fingers

    wooden needles clicking

    slowness sinking in

    words from old friends near and far

    spirits lifted 

    comfort in the unknown


    solitude slipping slowly away

    William Powell once said:

    "Cultivate solitude and quiet and a few sincere friends, rather than a mob merriment, noise and thousands of nodding acquaintances."