clearing the fog~

my shadowy fog

that lingered for so long

is disappearing 

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life is feeling lighter

the weight of the world no longer sitting on my shoulders


i am dancing through my days slowly

swaying to and from


there are no swift steps to stumble upon

just rocking to and from


breathing ever so deeply

and enjoying every moment of such


doing nothing...absolutely nothing


ok...that's a lie...there is always much to do but once more we are falling into our own rhythm...not sure how many more times i can type such but this time it feels feels feels like it is going to last


Maya Angelo Once Said:

"Everything in the Universe has a rhythm, Everything dances."

13...thirty~two with many more weeks in between~

our seemingly endless summers days 

came quickly to a close


please pardon the lengthiness of such

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bracing ourselves for what was coming

hearing the news

a dr. coming through


missing the known

enduring on everyones behalf





believing in the final

hoping for a cure


 Gilda Radner Once Said:

"Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity." 




warmth from the summers sun

brought forth a sense of autumn  

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remembering our littles


taking time


 a moment of space

a family as is


escaping our minds

warmth within the day

surrounded by picnics



yet settled


 Plato Once Said: 

"Life must be lived as play." 




the wait is over

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the time is now

a start

a beginning

anxiety flourishing

curiosity at ease

a first step for one father

his path unknown

strength from within

grasping onto what has been told

gripping faith

holding hope

believing the storm will pass 

rising above fear itself


 Someone Once Said: 

"The scariest moment is always before you start." 



september rolls in

the wheel begins to take its turn

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slowly sinking into a routine

everything we thought

no longer is

continually chaos


lack their of not even knowing

or attempting to understand

remembering there is a far greater plan

clutching the minutes

exhaustion setting in

rain is falling

clouds roll way

a new path unfolds


 Buddha Once Said: 

"No one can saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path." 




the days are passing by with such a blurriness

yet a dragging slowness  

we all feel the pull

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pondering the thought of needing to be cloned

possibility of six more of me

one for a wife

one for a mother

one for a teacher

two for care giving  

one for a daughter

one for a friend

arms feel as if they are being pulled  a hundred different direction

seeking and searching

 stumbling upon an old wooden fence

space granted to breath

bestowing a sense of peace


 Sir Thomas Browne Once Said: 

 "We carry with us the wonders we seek without us."




trying times have begun

in our lives


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unfortunate events

cancers treatments kicking in

one father struggling with strength

longing for it to all be done

knowing when to walk away

leaving yet standing for one minute more

pondering the final hours of the day

the dance of living 

we are all learning

the balancing act

or caring for all

and remembering me

myself along the way


 Joseph Smith Once Said: 

"If you live up to your privileges, the angels can not be restrained from being your associates."



hitting the half way mark

hoping with everything in me

the rest is a down hill walk


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stumbling upon an old dear friend

an extra hand presented without even knowing i needed such

pondering the mysteries and magic of life

one sisters cancer treatment completed

a scan presented

fingers and toes crossed  

that her journey comes to a close

one father hits a half way mark

his health rose once more

the wheel has turned

storms came way

rains broke through

wisdom keeps dripping in


 Someone Once Said:

"Believe you can and your halfway there." 


sorry for the novel above

but for me

i feel complete once more


knowing today

she is in the hands of friends who care so much


wishing greatly

i could be with you my dearest friend and sister

as you begin this next step of healing


knowing though

you know that i love you so  

and care ever so deeply about you

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i wish you well in the coming days 

i wish and pray with all i have

that your cancer will go away


all that you have been through

and all you have left to endure


leaves you still smiling


showing your beautiful colors


an inspiration to each and all

you truly are


my love light and blessings

be with you this day and those that come forth



a wishful kind of day~

a thousands wishes

i have been wishing for

a thousand wishes

i will continue to hope for

but on this day  

i wish a wish just for her

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a wish for good health be hers this day

a wish for strength as she endures another surgery

a wish for a painless recovery

a wish she will be able to quickly move on from this stage

a wish for the start of the next part of her journey

a wish that one day so very soon this will all be just a thing of the past


13...twenty~seven plus quite a bit more...

one month has passed on by

without my weekly writings of thirteen


the good ol' saying of

be careful what you wish for


hit me full swing

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this seemed to sum up what my days had been




i made a HUGE error in speaking

a disastrous careless wish

i wished for more travels to seattle

and well more travels were granted

i am becoming a professional hospitalite  

{hospitalite: one who makes frequent visits to hospitals} 

one month ago we were preparing for one sister to undergo surgery

one surgery came

one sisters cancer removed

a night nurse i became  

and the day nurse as well

peaceful was the resting

few were the hours to be  

recovering both her and i



Someone once said:

"The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us...They are those who win battles we know nothing about. "



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in the darkness she sits




unfortunate news was told

one father to endure even more procedures

alas presenting oh yes more trips to seattle

with undetermined time lines   

then a warm full moon rose

an illuminated sky sat above

luna shined ever so bright

luminous was the world in which we know

i snuck out back

me on my knees

in the dark of the night

in the quiet of all

and prayed to any and all who would listen to me



Jeremy Taylor once said: 

"Prayer is the peace of our spirit, the stillness of our thoughts, the evenness of recollection, the seat of meditation, the rest of our cares and the calm of our tempest."


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 we as a family have been an uphill journey

climbing one mountain after another

trudging along  

reminding our selves daily 





needing a reprieve

warmth blanketed the morning 

a family aboard

an adventure at hand

a bowl full of blackberries

and bounty of blueberries

space to move

air to breath

solitude in wandering

far enough away

yet close enough to feel each other

hanging onto the day


Someone once said: 

"Breath in joy and strength. Breath out wisdom and peace." 



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{captured as we were quickly driving by...hence the blurriness} 

funny how you miss things  

never knew this was here




needing a sprinkle from life's shower

fascinated by the brilliant mind of thee

art that lifts one spirit

and fills one soul

words of wisdom

lighting up the days that feel dark

another procedure endured for our father

confirmation of cancer is told

our hearts left bleeding

wondering how can it be

two in a family

at the exact same moment in time

how much more can be endured


Someone once said: 

"Strength is something you choose." 




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words can not express the spiraling effect of our days that have been







something has kept us going

being able to keep up the pace

forever thankful though it is happening at warp speed

plans have been laid

now we all attempting to prepare  

one sister hears more in the way of news

blessed by the grace of time

a gift of kindness

the magic of hands

and a gorgeous sunset to add



Hermann Hesse once said: 

"Oh, love isn't there to make us happy. I believe it exists to show us how much we can endure." 



holding her~

we ask of you 

to hold my sister in your thoughts

as you go about your day

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think good thoughts of her surgeon...that he will skillfully remove each little bit of cancer that resides within her

think good thoughts...that those little monsters whom decided to set up home in her body will soon be at loss

think good thoughts of her...that she will undergo and awake from her surgery without any complications

think good thoughts...that she will be able to rest peacefully and comfortably as she is in for a stay

think good thoughts...that this will be the FIRST and LAST time she will ever know the wicked "little c" 


think good thoughts if you would please



Someone once said:

" does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."



13...twenty six~

our days have been a continuous flow of


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too many thoughts

too many possibilities


all shall be left unknown

until its secret is ready to be revealed






quieting the minds of many

believing in my beliefs

one fathers procedure done

one sisters surgery coming forth

preparing for the coming week

attempting to balance the lives in my home 

summers heat sneaks in

 backyard camping

tangled fingers

bombs bursting

independence continually being sought 



Peter McWilliams once said:

"If you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thoughts." 


i do believe...we can not control controls us...true we have the will and the choice to choose how we "want" or "think" we will go about our day to day...but life can strike at any given moment...changing your plan...changing your day...changing your life in an unexpected there is no sense in battling the what ifs and whys...tis an answer you will never find. 


13...twenty three and many more~



Making a loud, confused noise; uproarious:


Excited, confused, or disorderly




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    one fathers birthday celebrated

    our anniversary came once more

    a holiday together away

    two troublesome phone calls

    one sisters life takes an unexpected turn

    one fathers life joins her possible path

    savoring time

    yet feeling lost within the minutes passing by


    pushing through

    letting go

    putting lifes troubles in the hands of the universe

    hanging onto hope



    Someone once said: 

     "So don't worry about tomorrow, For tomorrow will bring its own worries. Todays trouble is enough for today."



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    a multitude of doctors appointment

    another dental disaster

    biopsies for one

    more testing for thee other


    melt down

    flurry of falling outs

    comfort in the words of a sister so so far away

    time ticking

    exhaustion setting

    running away

    stumbling upon long lost hidden treasures

    riding the waves of life



    Someone once said:

    "I may not be the strongest, I may not be the fastest, but i'll be damned if i am not trying my hardest." 


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    appointments keep coming

    hearing haunting news

    confirmation of cancer for one

    yet more tests to be ran for another


    yet trying to swim back to the top



    clearing the way through the blur of my days

    sickness swirling

    rainy days keep coming

    mugginess that leads to an unpleasant stickiness

    down on my knees


    Victor Hugo once said:

    "Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, Whatever be the attitude of the body, The soul is on its knees."